The pain, the pain, the PAIN.

I'm in so much pain. The whole left side of my face is hurting, and it hurts like hell when I swallow. 

It hurts more now than it did before I went to the dentist. He said that it might hurt a bit for a few days and I got recommended to eat painkillers 3-4 times a day for 5 days, but I had no clue it would be like this! I should've just asked someone to knock the tooth out of my mouth, I'm guessing it would've been less painful. And no, I'm not exaggerating! 

Apparently there was caries in my tooth that had reached the root canal causing an infection. The procedure to fix the tooth wasn't painful at all, thanks to the anaesthetic, but oh so unpleasant. Getting the anaesthetic hurt like hell too, and he hit a nerve with the needle while doing it, which was very painful. 

And then the sound of the drill...

That horrible, horrible sound. I'm actually quite shocked over my own reaction when I got into the dentist chair. My heart was rushing, I had a cold sweat and I just couldn't relax. They asked me several times to try and relax but I just coulnd't bring myself to it, it was just aweful. At one point I even wished I had brought someone with me, like when you always had your mum holding your hand when you were little. At one point I panicked, shook my head and closed my mouth. Yes, very good Erica, the drill almost hit another tooth too. Good thing nothing bad happened out of it, if we're not going to count my increasing feelings of panic. 

All in all I can only confirm that going to the dentists is very unpleasant and horrifying. Just as I imagined it, and some more.

The procedure didn't take more than 45 minutes, felt like it was hours though. When I was done and got out of there, I sat down on a bench and feeling the panic and fear leave my body I almost broke down in tears. I can't really believe myself, that my dental fear was this strong, but I know now that it is real. And to all those people that think I'm silly , exaggerating and should just get over it, well fine. It's not like I will care if you ever have a situation of feeling terrified, having panic attacks or anxiety, that's where the beauty of being a narcissist steps in. But I do however hope that those people one day will experience something of the above themselves.

Hi Goat.

I did it. I called the dentists and made an appointment for tomorrow! Whether I will survive this ordeal or not, remains to be seen. Yes, I might die out of fear, you never know!
  I'm actually really nervous about this, and not looking forward to it at all. I'm also quite sure that after my tooth  gets filled, the hole that was in it, will be transfered to my wallet. Bloody dentists!

Tonight I took Dexter to the lake for a swim, and we met these goats. Goats are just awesome, now I really want a goat.

Hip hip hurray!

I can't believe a year has passed! Happy 1 year birthday Dexter, my sweet "little" prince!

Hip hip hurray!

There is many things that I hate in the world, yes really hate. And one of those things is my neighbours. Tonight I can't make up my mind which ones of my neighbours I dislike the most, the whitetrash that lives right across, or the immigrant family of 9 next door. The first option started to piss me off around 4 this afternoon when they decided to playmusic really loud. And I'm talking about LOUD. Could hear it 3 blocks away. Apparently they were having a party, because their backyard was crawling of other whitetrash within a few hours. Usually I don't mind loud music, I actually prefer it, as long as it is music, but I think that calling the shit they listen to music, would be an insult to real music. Basshunter, Sean Banan and other various swedish "reggae/rap" artists, that should never have been allowed near a recording device.

Now, for the family that lives next door. I'm guessing they're on the 9th generation living in there now. The youngest member of their family is a 1 year old kid, which seems to be allowed to run freely in the neighbourhood. They open the door and let him out, with no care in the world it seems. Sometimes one of them runs out, shouting his name for about 10 mins, then runs away to look for him. I have seen him many times at the forest path where I usually walk my dogs, and that is quite a bit from where he lives. Sometimes he also walks into my backyard, tearing down fences and gates I've put up to keep my dogs in. Once I caught him hitting my small dog with a toy on the head, was lucky for him he didn't get his fingers bit off. I've tried to tell them this, but all they do is smile and say "yes, sorry" on broken swedish. But oh well, today he was on his way into my backyard again, but this time he got caught in some bushes and couldn't get loose, kid started crying and this time it only took about 5 mins for some of the older members of his family to go out and get him. Some people really shouldn't be allowed to have kids. I should call childcare on them!

Apart from being annoyed at my neighbours tonight, I found a little present that my sweet cat, Robert left for me outside my backdoor. A little dead mouse. I've lost count of how many he's been bringing me this summer. Almost every day there's a mouse or a little bird right outside. He is such a good hunter my little cat. How he finds the time to go hunting is beyond me, since all he seems to do is eat and sleep. I guess I should appreciate the effort and thought he puts in bringing me presents, but enough is enough i would like to say. 

Such a cute little mouse. 

It made me think of the song "tales from the inverted womb" by Sopor Aeternus. 

So I decided to dedicate that song to the little dead mouse.

Proud hunter resting in my flowerbed, Perhaps looking for a little bird to bring home. 

I started a fire...

...And prepared my dinner. 

Afterwards the carving board reminded me of the 7 sins, so this is my version of gluttony.

Speechless

There is a rose growing in my backyard. I can't remember ever planting it, and it wasn't there last year. It's very beautiful though, and a welcome surprise to my little garden project. Which now has grown from only being a few flowers, to carrots and radishes. I'm so proud of my gardening skills. Just put some random stuff in the dirt and water it. I could do this full time!

From one thing to another, I need to book a dentist appointment. I've had toothache for days, and it doesn't seem to go away by itself, so I have to face my demons and go see a dentist. I know it's ridiculous but I have a terrible dental fear, it's so bad I get a cold sweat from just following a friend to the dentists, but now I must deal with this, I've put it off for far too long and the ache I have seems to be winning the battle this time. Damn you toothache, damn you to hell!

I have this song in my head that I can't get rid of, so I will share it with you. It's by Lady Gaga, who by the way is an amazing performer. It's not really the kind of music I listen to, but she is fascinating with her special style and the fact that she isn't just your regular pop-product, she actually can sing and compose her own music, which is a big plus in my book. Oh well, enjoy it. I do.

Just wanted to share some pictures of my beautiful boy Dexter.

In english.

I have decided to start writing in english so my lovely foreign friends can understand the nonsense that I write.

Nothing much is happening at the moment, it's hot. Too hot, 35 degrees yesterday and it's anticipated to stay like this for at least 2 weeks.
Feels like I'm gonna die, there's hardly any air and the fan I have in my bedroom just keeps whirling the hot air around, annoying to say the least!
I'm really glad I have the possibility to go to a lake not far from here so that both me and my dogs can cool off. Dexter has become quite a good swimmer, and he doesnt hesitate to run out in the water, can tell he likes it, poor thing. He doesn't handle the heat very well, but at least he has found a cool spot at home where he usually is lieing, the bathroom floor.

And I finally got some colour in my hair, decided to go with yellow for a while, well a little while. I'm finding the yellow colour being very hard to maintain and keep in the hair for very long. Oh well, it will do for now. I'm guessing spending every day at the beach doesn't really help to keep the colour staying^^