The pain, the pain, the PAIN.

I'm in so much pain. The whole left side of my face is hurting, and it hurts like hell when I swallow. 

It hurts more now than it did before I went to the dentist. He said that it might hurt a bit for a few days and I got recommended to eat painkillers 3-4 times a day for 5 days, but I had no clue it would be like this! I should've just asked someone to knock the tooth out of my mouth, I'm guessing it would've been less painful. And no, I'm not exaggerating! 

Apparently there was caries in my tooth that had reached the root canal causing an infection. The procedure to fix the tooth wasn't painful at all, thanks to the anaesthetic, but oh so unpleasant. Getting the anaesthetic hurt like hell too, and he hit a nerve with the needle while doing it, which was very painful. 

And then the sound of the drill...

That horrible, horrible sound. I'm actually quite shocked over my own reaction when I got into the dentist chair. My heart was rushing, I had a cold sweat and I just couldn't relax. They asked me several times to try and relax but I just coulnd't bring myself to it, it was just aweful. At one point I even wished I had brought someone with me, like when you always had your mum holding your hand when you were little. At one point I panicked, shook my head and closed my mouth. Yes, very good Erica, the drill almost hit another tooth too. Good thing nothing bad happened out of it, if we're not going to count my increasing feelings of panic. 

All in all I can only confirm that going to the dentists is very unpleasant and horrifying. Just as I imagined it, and some more.

The procedure didn't take more than 45 minutes, felt like it was hours though. When I was done and got out of there, I sat down on a bench and feeling the panic and fear leave my body I almost broke down in tears. I can't really believe myself, that my dental fear was this strong, but I know now that it is real. And to all those people that think I'm silly , exaggerating and should just get over it, well fine. It's not like I will care if you ever have a situation of feeling terrified, having panic attacks or anxiety, that's where the beauty of being a narcissist steps in. But I do however hope that those people one day will experience something of the above themselves.