insignificance

Insignificance. The word of today is insignificance.

I am the mistress of loneliness, my court is deserted but I do not care. The presence of people is ugly and cold and something I can neither watch nor bear.

I am insignificant. A fool, a dreamer. I still have some hope. Hope of confirmation. I feel insufficient. Unwanted.

When reality slaps me in the face I feel no pain.

I know it deep inside, yet still I hope for a different outcome.

Like a dream, or a memory that floats in this vault.  Waiting for the moment it shall be recalled by some visitor, maybe, who is seeking release from a strange kind of sadness, some unknown disease. Its symptoms are madness, caused by the music in his head, sung by an endless choir, called:
"the Voices of the Dead".

I’m not frightened, though I am falling. I just wish I wasn’t so insignificant.