It's upside down. It used to be easier by night, now the darkness is failing me. It doesn't comfort anymore. It's just there and won't let me hide.
Still confused. Still lost.
I don't know who I am anymore.
Keeping up appearances and being strong for someone else is the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm not sure I can do it. The mask I wear gets heavier by the minute. I don't know who's behind it anymore. It scares me. Angers me. How miserable I must be to be around. Dumb, I feel dumb.
I try to fool myself with circumstances. But I know the truth deep inside, don't know why I just don't deal with it instead of putting it off.
...I am not breathing a word. And it seems to me at times that with every passing hour another word is leaving my mind ...
As always, I just can’t cry. Not that I want to. I think...
...I have to let go of your hand. Even though I don't want to...
Cheerful as usual. Oh well, I'll pop a pill and go to sleep.
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