going mental?

So, I got a letter from the chief of operations a few weeks back. I wrote him regarding the treatment I've recieved from one of the doctors on his ward. The letter he wrote didn't touch the subject, or answered a single question asked. His reply was that he had got the letter from me, he had got the letter my mum sent him and also the letter that my pshychiatrist sent him. He said that I will have a meeting this autumn, with the doctor I've filed a complaint against, a colleague of his, and also my psychiatrist.

In curiosity I called the ward last week, to see if they had started on the arrangement for this meeting, since I know that it's gonna take them time to be able to get 3 doctors available for the same time and day. I wasn't counting on them having started to plan the arrangement yet. And I'm not quite sure why I was surprised to hear the woman say that the meeting should take part sometime late autumn. Once again they tell me one thing and put down another. I'm so sick of this. I talked to the woman at the discrimination agency today as well, and she had not yet talked to the doctors involved, but she recommended me to book an appointment with a general practician, show him all my documents, talk about the situation and see if he could help me get a referral to another hospital...

It feels like I'm stuck in a treadmill. No matter what I just keep ending up and the same point I started, banging my head against the wall.

Why is it so hard to see that I'm a person capable of making my own decisions, behind those words that's printed with me everywhere I go. Bipolar. It doesn't mean that I'm stupid and have trouble understanding. They won't even give me a chance becuase I'm bipolar. They won't even listen to my psychiatrist, when he's explaining the condition to them, or how the condition is with me. They prefer to read their ancient texts where the conclusion are more or less that if you are bipolar you're most likely to be completely insane and end up killing yourself.

I don't know for how much longer I can keep this up, and fight them. I'm just so sick of it all, sick of being treated like I'm mentally retarded. I would never have thought that doctors were allowed to do just as they please, lie straight to their patients faces just out of prestige. And just basically twist and turn the laws in any way needed to suit their case.

It is their right to waste my life. I've been waiting 4 years in total. What gives them the right to play with my life like this? I've Been mistread from day one I sought specialist care. Judged because I am bipolar. The mentallity of the people involved in this, makes it feel like I've been thrown back in time to 1840, and should be studied like a lab rat in an assylum. Or at least be locked away in one, because if you can't see or hear any trouble, there sure can't be any.